Caught in the Shadows of a Man’s Secret World: Women and the Consumption of Internet Pornography & Cybersex

by Erin M. Haligowski

Erin M. Haligowski (M.Div., ATS) is Youth Director at Epiphany Lutheran Church, Centerville, OH.

Introduction: Caught in a Man’s World

In a November 2009 episode of her show, Oprah Winfrey openly discussed with reporter Lisa Ling and famous pornography superstar Jenna Jameson some overwhelming statistics about women as consumers of pornography.[1] The show shared a statistic that “1/3 of all online consumers of porn are women … [and yet] 70% of women who watch porn keep it a secret.”[2] It seems that while Oprah and her guests were overwhelmingly supportive of women being pornography consumers, the fact that 70% of women hide their consumption seems to indicate some negative consequences or perceptions of pornography usage among woman.

For far too long it has been assumed that sexual addiction, and its manifestation in the use of internet pornography and cybersex is a problem isolated to the male population. The reality, however, is that according to a 2003 study, one in six women, Christians included, have acknowledged a problem at some level or another with pornography.[3] “Women account for 21% of cybersex addicts … [and] although women are online significantly less than men, women are over-represented among those who progress beyond recreational use to the realm of addiction.”[4] An additional statistic suggests that among “the most extreme cybersex users, 40 percent are women.”[5] There is an overwhelming hidden problem among women who are caught in the cycle of addiction to pornography and cybersex, and that hidden problem must be brought out of the shadows if the church is to have an effective ministry to broken and hurting women in the pews.

The online sexual activity of women generally falls into one of two behavior classifications: solitary activity or interactive pursuits.[6] Solitary activity is identified with viewing or reading pornographic or erotic material online, and interactive activity involves the exchange of sexual content with others through e-mail, chat rooms, or cybersex (“communicating online while masturbating”).[7] While these two behavior classifications are both present among women, it has been suggested that women by nature tend to prefer interactive pursuits.[8] There is some research that suggests that some younger women (ages 18–35) are being drawn into solitary activity, having been raised in a media-saturated culture, but internet sexual activity among women remains predominantly interactive in nature.

While this topic has not been traditionally recognized among counselors, the church, or even society, there is a great deal of emerging research on the impact that pornography and cybersex is having in the lives of women. Two of the current voices in the discussion are Marnie C. Ferree, author of No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction,[9] and Crystal Renaud, founder of Dirty Girls Ministries, a non-profit organization helping women struggling with pornography addiction, and author of Dirty Girls Come Clean.[10]These women, in conversation with the present literature on sexual addiction and various scholars, ministers, and counselors, are beginning to shed light on a subject that has far too long been hidden in the shadows and stigmatized as a problem affecting only men.

On Being a Woman: Core Longings

It has now been established that pornography and cybersex addiction is indeed prevalent among the female population. What could it be, however, that drives women to get caught in a web that has historically been known to appeal specifically to men? The truth is, women and men are wired differently. By nature, women experience the world, relationships, and sex differently than men do. So in order to understand the issues surrounding women caught in the trappings of pornography and cybersex, and why it is often kept such a secret, one must begin with an understanding of who women are and what core longings drive their relational pursuits.

Anne Halley identifies six core longings that every person needs to have fulfilled in order to live a full life: belonging, love, security, understanding, purpose, and significance.[11] While these core longings must be fulfilled in the lives of both men and women, their perceived fulfillment is experienced differently for the two sexes. The foundation of these core longings, especially in the lives of women, is a search for intimacy. Women seek relational encounters that fulfill their deep longing for intimacy with other human beings. Renaud identifies the underlying current in her research as “a desire to be wanted and [to experience] acceptance.”[12] The women getting caught up in pornography addictions and cybersex are looking for intimacy in pornography, which provides a “false sense of intimacy … and eventually leaves emptiness and loneliness” in its place.[13] The main problem with a search for intimacy that ends with the internet is that it permits “intimate discussion shorn of most of the social cues present in face-to-face interactions.”[14] This search for intimacy paints a clear picture of why so many women engage in interactive pursuits in their online sexual activity. On the contrary, the sexual pursuits of men have much less to do with relational fulfillment and much more to do with visual stimulation that produces a similar effect.[15] Women generally perceive their experiences of intimacy through their feelings and relationships with others, whereas men perceive intimacy through what they see, hear, and touch. Ferree explains this as she says of sexually addicted women: “[Many of them] don’t even enjoy the sexual experiences. They either tolerate or endure the sex because of the larger payoff: the connection (however false or temporary) or the medication of emotional pain.”[16] For a sexually addicted woman, the experience is primarily about achieving a sense of intimacy.

It seems at first glance that the use of pornography and cybersex by women may just be another step on a continuum that stems from their “long history of avid consumption of romantic novels and stories.”[17] Essentially, cybersex offers women a sort of “choose your own adventure” romance novel in which the text becomes a “vehicle for intimacy.”[18] This sort of sexual activity seems to provide a “safe” alternative to real physical sexual activities because it “provides this space, previously unavailable, where a person can type without doing, or do without being.[19] For a woman seeking intimacy, it makes at least some sense that she might turn to pornography or cybersex as an emotional outlet. Few people would question a woman reading a romance novel, and cybersex is simply a step further in that search for fantasy and intimacy.

Crystal Renaud and Jessica Harris both identify a lack of healthy intimacy in their household growing up as a contributing factor for their own pornography usage.[20] Renaud chalks up much of the problem among women to the fact that “women are simply not being told that they are loved and that they are worth more than what they are putting themselves into.”[21] These messages are so important, and much of that affirmation must come from the father figure in a girl’s life growing up. LeAnne Payne claims boldly that “it is the father (or father substitute) who affirms sons and daughters in their sexual identity.”[22] The most important reason for this is that, “at puberty and adolescence we are listening for the masculine voice. It is the strong, masculine love and affirmation coming through that voice that convinces us that we are truly and finally separate from our mothers.”[23] One of the primary needs of women is “to get their identities separated from that of their mother,” and when that need is not fulfilled it is often because of a lack of affirmation from the masculine voice.[24] The relationship a girl has with her father in adolescence will often have a significant impact on where and how she searches for intimacy later in life. Patrick Carnes identifies four factors in a child’s development that become part of the identity that may push a person into sexual addiction: “(1) self-image—how children perceive themselves; (2) relationships—how children perceive their relationships with others; (3) needs—how children perceive their own needs; and (4) sexuality—how children perceive their own sexual feelings and needs.”[25] Each of these is a need that must be met by a masculine voice in the life of the adolescent.

In addition to the need for intimacy and a masculine voice, women are bombarded with cultural and religious messages about what it means to be a woman in the world. Culture tells women that “sex equals power,” that “packaging and presentation are all-important,” that “if ya’ got it, flaunt it,” that “everyone is having sex,” and even that “sex equals love.”[26] Beyond those messages sent by the media and culture, women of faith are also bombarded by “religious” messages about who women are and what they ought to be about. “Women are inferior to men,” and “Christian marriages don’t struggle with sexual issues” are two of those messages.[27] If women are continually caught between the messages of culture and the messages of “religion,” then they are often driven to four religiously informed cultural beliefs about who they are: (1) “I must be good to be worthy of love”; (2) “If I’m sexual, I’m bad”; (3) “I must be sexual to be loveable”; and (4) “I’m not really a woman unless someone desires me sexually or romantically.”[28] It is clear that such messages could easily drive a woman into the shadows of a secret search for intimacy such as the consumption of pornography and cybersex. The search for intimacy fueled by environmental factors during upbringing seems to be by far the most significant contributor to the use of pornography among women.

In the Shadows: The Escalating Effects of Secret Addiction

Although pornography and cybersex are becoming more culturally acceptable for women, as demonstrated by the attitudes conveyed on the November 2009 episode of Oprah that discussed the issue, the negative effects on the lives of women still far outweigh any positive effects. These negative effects begin simply with an unhealthy understanding and practice of human sexuality and can escalate to far more serious behaviors that quickly become an addiction in which the woman begins to believe false emotions and core beliefs that begin to affect the whole of her life.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality

In his book Theology of the Body for Beginners, Christopher West outlines the basic tenants of Pope John Paul II’s papal teaching on sexuality given in a series of 129 short talks between 1979 and 1984.[29] While the teaching is Catholic in nature, the pope (via Christopher West) offers some profound insights into healthy and biblical human sexuality that speak to the issue of pornography as an unhealthy expression of sexuality for both men and women. West explains the importance of such teaching from the church by stating that “the way we understand and express our sexuality points to our deepest-held convictions about who we are, who God is, the meaning of love, the ordering of society, and even the ordering of the universe.”[30] Thus, healthy sexuality is important not only to the lateral relationships existing between men and women, but also to the vertical relationship between a man or woman and God. West delineates Pope John Paul II’s ideology of healthy sexuality as it mirrors Christ’s love for the church:

First, Christ gives his body freely … Second, he gives his body totally—without reservation, condition, or selfish calculation … Third, he gives his body faithfully … and fourth, he gives his body fruitfully. [Therefore,] if men and women are to avoid the pitfalls of counterfeit love, and live their vocation to its full, their union must express the same free, total, faithful, fruitful love that Christ expresses.[31]

When sexuality is practiced with these four conditions in the context of marriage, it expresses a healthy union with God and with humanity.

The problem with pornography consumption and cybersex is that it does not express any of these four conditions. In acts of cybersex, a woman may give her body with some freedom, although that sense of “freely given” becomes less and less free as she gets caught in a cycle of addiction. Cybersex and pornography also do not offer the body in totality—instead, the woman is withholding the physical elements of the sexual relationship for the self-indulgence and self-gratification that come from a false sense of intimacy. By its very nature, involving the jump from one partner to another and another, pornography and cybersex are not in the least bit faithful. Finally, there is no fruitful act in pornography or cybersex in that neither is an act that produces offspring. Michael Ross points out this lack of fruitfulness:

The internet has sheared away many of the emotional and physical attributes of the physical individual—perhaps the ultimate removal from reproduction—and allowed emotional and physical fulfillment to occur with an electronic partner who may or may not bear much resemblance to the physical partner who is typing at the keyboard. This is not just an ultimate removal from reproduction; it is also an ultimate removal from social sexuality.[32]

If “the way we understand and express our sexuality points to our deepest held convictions of who we are [and] who God is,” then participation in cybersex and viewing pornography expresses a distorted and unhealthy view not only of human sexuality but also of one’s relationship with God and other human beings.[33]

Escalation: Acting Out Sexual Behaviors

One of the main differences between men and women who are involved in internet sexual activity is the rapid escalation of sexual behaviors, especially for women: “An early study reports women are more likely than men to seek real-life meetings with their online sexual partners. In fact, an astounding 80% of female cybersex addicts admitted this behavior.”[34] This sort of escalation quickly places women in dangerous situations that can lead to far more detrimental effects. In some cases, this sort of escalation has lead to kidnapping and even murder.[35] As a result of this disturbing trend, cybersex and pornography consumption among women is not just a problem affecting the woman as an individual, but it quickly escalates to a problem that can affect her relationships with others including family, friends, and especially God.

The Cycle of Addiction

Patrick Carnes defines addiction as “a pathological relationship with a mood-altering substance or behavior.”[36] In the case of sexual addictions, the mood-altering behavior is a sexual encounter or relationship that provides a feeling of “high” for the person participating and escalates to the point of no control. Sexaholics Anonymous provides a definition for a sexaholic or sex addict, as they understand the term:

The sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction. Our situation is like that of the alcoholic who can no longer tolerate alcohol and must stop drinking altogether but is hooked and cannot stop. So it is with the sexaholic, or sex drunk, who can no longer tolerate lust but cannot stop.[37]

This definition, like many others, likens the situation of a sex addict to that of an alcoholic or any other addict. The loss of control identified by SA can also be seen in Patrick Carnes’ four-step cycle of addiction:

1. Preoccupation—the trance or mood wherein the addicts’ minds are completely engrossed with thoughts of sex. This mental state creates an obsessive search for sexual stimulation.
2. Ritualization—the addicts’ own special routines that lead up to the sexual behavior. The ritual intensifies the preoccupation, adding arousal and excitement.
3. Compulsive sexual behavior—the actual sexual act, which is the end goal of the preoccupation and ritualization. Sexual addicts are unable to control or stop this behavior.
4. Despair—the feeling of utter hopelessness addicts have about their behavior and their powerlessness.[38]

These four steps intensify with each consecutive cycle, and a woman who has begun viewing pornography or participating in cybersex activity online can easily become caught in this cycle. Even when the initial exposure to pornography is accidental, it can quickly escalate to an addictive behavior.[39] Carnes places this addiction cycle in a greater addictive system in which “addicts move from healthy relationships to sexual compulsion, and their internal processes combine to form [a larger] addictive system.”[40] In this addictive system, a system of false beliefs supports impaired thinking and a delusional thought process that feeds into the addiction cycle and leads ultimately to an unmanageable problem in the life of the addict.[41] This system of addiction quickly produces negative fruit in the lives of women caught in the trappings of pornography and cybersex.

The sexual addict is generally driven by four core beliefs, each based on one of the four factors of childhood development identified by Carnes as factors that may push a person into sexual addiction. These core beliefs are: “I am basically a bad, unworthy person,” “No one would love me as I am,” “My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend upon others,” and “Sex is my most important need.”[42] Each of these core beliefs pushes a person deeper into the throes of the sexual addiction cycle.

Inward, Outward, and Upward Effects

The effects of sexual addiction stretch into the depths of the addict’s soul, outward into the lives of family and friends, and even upward into the faith of the addict in cases of Christian women addicted to pornography and cybersex. At the core of these three directional reaches is a single emotional experience in the lives of women: shame. It is shame that causes 70% of women who watch porn to keep it a secret.[43] It is shame that causes women to withdraw into the loneliness and emptiness that follows their use of pornography and engagement and cybersex.[44] “Shame has the power to take our breath away and replace it with the stale air of condemnation and disgust.”[45] Dr. Dan Allender identifies shame as “an awful experience to be aware that we are seen as deficient and undesirable by someone whom we hope will deeply enjoy us.”[46] This shame has four elements: exposure, revelation, dread of the consequences, and empowering trust.[47] Shame involves the relationship a person has with themselves, their relationships with others, and their relationship with God, and so produces negative effects in each of those realms.

The trappings of pornography and cybersex can often lead women into other self-destructive disorders such as low self-esteem and depression, creating a deep intrapersonal struggle within the life of the addict.[48] The shame of sexual addiction can also lead women into periods of sexual anorexia in which they abstain from any sexual contact.[49] This sexual anorexia has significant effects in the life of a married sexual addict who will often be “totally sexually anorexic with her husband,” putting great strain on the marital relationship.[50] Finally, the shame of pornography addiction or cybersex can lead a woman to false beliefs about God that significantly impact her faith. These beliefs include, but are not limited to: “God couldn’t possibly love me after what I’ve done”; “God has abandoned me just like all the other people in my life”; and “God won’t give me second chances.”[51] As the outward impact of shame becomes increasingly visible in the life of the addict, the inward feelings of shame continue to escalate.

Out of the Shadows: The Church’s Response

As the reality of women using pornography and cybersex continues to become more apparent and culturally accepted, the church really needs to step up and take a stance that will facilitate healing and wholeness for broken and hurting women in the pews. Jesus himself offers an anecdote for dealing with sexual sin in his interaction with the woman caught in adultery:

At dawn [Jesus] appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trip, in order to have a basis for accusing him. 

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 

“No one, sir,” she said. 

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”[52]

In this account, it is the religious leaders who bring this woman for condemnation. Yet Jesus does not condemn. Jesus welcomes this woman with open arms in the midst of the mess she has gotten herself into, shows her love (“neither do I condemn you”) and points her to a road of healing (“go now and leave your life of sin”). Jesus demonstrates similar welcoming, love, and pointing in his interaction with the woman at the well in John 4:1–26: “Jesus offered grace to the woman caught in adultery and living water to the woman at the well.”[53] This same hope ought to be offered by the church to the modern woman caught in the trappings of pornography and sexual addiction.

In an interview on the Covenant Eyes podcast, Jessica Harris discusses some important practical strategies for the church in working with women caught in pornography and cybersex addictions. Jessica says, “With society embracing [pornography] more, we as the church have to realize that we’ve got to stand up and we’ve got to help.”[54] The church must be willing to talk about it—to bring the issues related to women and sexual addictions out of the shadows and into the light. As awareness increases, the church must then be willing to welcome these women, like Jesus, with love, acceptance, and open arms. The church must foster an atmosphere of openness, and then equip leaders to help women deal with these specific problems.

There are a number of important resources available to the church that can help them in aiding women to successfully navigate a recovery from pornography addiction. Marnie Ferree identifies healthy connection as one of the most important solutions: “If sexual addiction is best thought of as an intimacy disorder, then the obvious solution is to find healthy connection … Being in safe community is the antidote for addictive behaviors.”[55] This healthy connection can come in a variety of forms, but it is important to remember that seeking healthy intimacy is one of the most difficult things imaginable for sex addicts, who are at their core “intimacy disordered.”[56] This connection could come in the form of one-on-one accountability with a healthy, mature Christian woman, or it could come in the form of a support group such as that provided by Sexaholics Anonymous. For women who are not yet ready to publically admit a problem, Dirty Girls Ministries is offering online support groups for women to begin tasting the freedom found in healthy intimacy and connection.[57] By being aware of the various resources available for healthy connection, as well as building relationships with Christian counselors who specialize in the area of female sexual addictions, the church can readily point women toward healing and wholeness.

Conclusions

In a song titled “You Think” on their 2007 album A Prelude, Jenny and Tyler Sommers captured the depth of emotional and spiritual pain experienced by woman caught in sexual sin:

You know me so well
Each and every part
So much better than I know myself
Every layer of my heart
But it’s different with the world
I won’t let anyone come in
Can’t let them know about my sin
‘Cause what will they think of me
When they finally see
This little girl they know doesn’t let her bruises show (x2)
... and who am I to think that I’m more righteous than the rest
That I might stand a little straighter when You put me to the test
I’m lying when I tell myself I have to be the best
That’s not what they expect[58]

Women caught in sexual sin are afraid of how they might be perceived by the world, by their families, and yes, even by the church. For far too long, the sexual sins of pornography and cybersex have been stigmatized as being issues that only plague men. This stigma has given women caught in these trappings a deep sense of shame and guilt, while at the same time the media and society have begun to condone and even praise these behaviors among women. It is time that the church become willing to talk openly about how pornography and cybersex affect women, that it foster an open atmosphere of love, acceptance and forgiveness for these women, and that it be able to point them in a direction of hope and healing for the future.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

• Allender, Dan B. The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse, revised edition. Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2008.
• Carnes, Patrick. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, 3rd edition. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2001.
• Duke, Rachel B. “More Women Lured to Pornography Addiction.” Washington Times. July 11, 2010.
• http://www.wasthingtontimes.com/news/2010/jul/11/more-women-lured-to-pornography-addiction/ (accessed November 24, 2010).
• Ferree, Marnie C. No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction, 2nd edition. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2010.
• ———, Marnie C. “Women and the Web: Cybersex Activity and Implications.” Sexual and Relationship Therapy 18/3 (August 2003): 385–393.
• Ongley, Mark. “Laying a Foundation: The Theology of the Body.” lecture notes. PM 750. Ashland Theological Seminary. Ashland, OH. October 8, 2010.
• Payne, LeAnne. Crisis in Masculinity. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 1985.
• Renaud, Crystal. Dirty Girls Ministries. http://www.dirtygirlsministries.com (accessed November 19, 2010).
• ———, Crystal and Harris, Jessica. Interview on Covenant Eyes Podcast. Episode 28. “Porn Addiction Among Women (Part 2).” August 19, 2009. 17:05. Mp3 file. http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/wpcontent/uploads/2009/08/ce-podcast-girls-part-2.mp3 (accessed November 19, 2010).
• ———, Crystal and Harris, Jessica. Interview on Covenant Eyes Podcast. Episode 29. “Porn Addiction Among Women (Part 3).” August 21, 2009. 16:22. Mp3 file. http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/wpcontent/uploads/2009/08/ce-podcast-girls-part-3.mp3 (accessed November 19, 2010).
• Ross, Michael W. “Typing, Doing, and Being: Sexuality and the Internet.” The Journal of Sex Research 24/4 (November 2005): 342–352.
• Schneider, Jennifer P. “A Qualitative Study of Cybersex Participants: Gender Differences, Recovery Issues, and Implications for Therapists.” Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity 7/4 (December 2000): 249–278.
• Sexaholics Anonymous. http://www.sa.org (accessed November 27, 2010).
• Sommers, Jenny and Tyler. “You Think.” A Prelude. 3:45. Electronic album download. One Eyed Cat Music (BMI). 2007.
• West, Christopher. Theology of the Body for Beginners: A Basic Introduction to Pope John Paul II’s Sexual Revolution. West Chester, PA: Ascension Press, 2004.

Notes

1. Oprah, “Jenna Jameson and Lisa Ling with Why Women Watch Porn” (originally aired November 17, 2009).
2. Oprah, “Jenna Jameson and Lisa Ling”.
3. Rachel B. Duke, “More Women Lured to Pornography Addiction,” Washington Times, July 11, 2010, http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/jul/11/more-women-lured-to-pornography-addiction/ (accessed November 24, 2010).
4. Marnie C. Ferree, “Women and the web: cybersex activity and implications,” Sexual and Relationship Therapy vol. 18, no. 3 (August 2003), 387.
5. Patrick Carnes, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, 3rd ed. (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2001), 83.
6. Ferree, “Women and the web,” 387.
7. Ferree, “Women and the web,” 387.
8. Ferree, “Women and the web,” 387.
9. Marnie C. Ferree, No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction, 2nd ed. (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2010).
10. Crystal Renaud, Dirty Girls Ministries, http://www.dirtygirlsministries.com (accessed November 19, 2010); Dirty Girls Come Clean (Chicago: Moody, 2011).
11. Mark Ongley, “Laying a Foundation: The Theology of the Body” (lecture, PM 750, Ashland Theological Seminary, Ashland, OH, October 8, 2010).
12. Crystal Renaud and Jessica Harris, interview on Covenant Eyes Podcast, Episode 28, “Porn Addiction Among Women (Part 2),” August 19, 2009, mp3 file, 17:05, http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/ce-podcast-girls-part2.mp3 (accessed November 19, 2010).
13. Renaud and Harris, interview.
14. Michael W. Ross, “Typing, Doing, and Being: Sexuality and the Internet,” The Journal of Sex Research 24/4 (November 2005), 342.
15. Jennifer P. Schneider, “A Qualitative Study of Cybersex Participants: Gender Differences, Recovery Issues, and Implications for Therapists,” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity 7/4 (December 2000), 272.
16. Ferree, No Stones, 56.
17. Ross, “Typing, Doing, and Being,” 343.
18. Ross, “Typing, Doing, and Being,” 343.
19. Ross, “Typing, Doing, and Being,” 343.
20. Renaud and Harris, interview.
21. Renaud and Harris, interview.
22. LeAnne Payne, Crisis in Masculinity (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 1985), 12.
23. Payne, Crisis in Masculinity, 12.
24. Payne, Crisis in Masculinity, 99.
25. Carnes, Out of the Shadows, 97.
26. Ferree, No Stones, 35–38.
27. Ferree, No Stones, 38–39.
28. Ferree, No Stones, 40–41.
29. Christopher West, Theology of the Body for Beginners: A Basic Introduction to Pope John Paul II’s Sexual Revolution (West Chester, PA: Ascension Press, 2004), 1.
30. West, Theology of the Body for Beginners, 1–2.
31. West, Theology of the Body for Beginners, 91.
32. Ross, “Typing, Doing, and Being,” 343.
33. West, Theology of the Body for Beginnners, 1–2.
34. Ferree, “Women and the web,” 388.
35. Carnes, Out of the Shadows, 87.
36. Ferree, No Stones, 43.
37. Sexaholics Anonymous, http://www.sa.org (accessed November 27, 2010).
38. Carnes, Out of the Shadows, 19–20.
39. Renaud and Harris, interview.
40. Carnes, Out of the Shadows, 25.
41. Carnes, Out of the Shadows, 25–26.
42. Carnes, Out of the Shadows, 108–110.
43. Oprah, “Jenna Jameson and Lisa Ling.
44. Renaud and Harris, interview.
45. Dan B. Allender, The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse, revised ed. (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2008), 60.
46. Allender, The Wounded Heart, 61.
47. Allender, The Wounded Heart, 61.
48. Renaud and Harris, interview.
49. Ferree, No Stones, 68–70.
50. Ferree, No Stones, 69.
51. Ferree, No Stones, 152.
52. John 8:2–11 (NIV).
53. Ferree, No Stones, 161.
54. Renaud and Harris, interview.
55. Ferree, No Stones, 185.
56. Ferree, No Stones, 185.
57. Crystal Renaud and Jessica Harris, interview on Covenant Eyes Podcast, Episode 29, “Porn Addiction Among Women (Part 3),” August 21, 2009, mp3 file, 16:22, http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/ce-podcast-girls-part3.mp3 (accessed November 19, 2010).
58. Jenny and Tyler Sommers, “You Think,” A Prelude, 3:45 (electronic album download), One Eyed Cat Music (BMI), 2007.