The Table Briefing: Engaging With Atheists And Agnostics

By Darrell L. Bock and Mikel Del Rosario

[Darrell L. Bock is Senior Research Professor in New Testament Studies and Executive Director for Cultural Engagement at Dallas Theological Seminary in Dallas, Texas. Mikel Del Rosario is a doctoral student in New Testament Studies, Project Manager for Cultural Engagement at Dallas Theological Seminary, and adjunct professor of Christian Apologetics and World Religion at William Jessup University, Rocklin, California.]

The authors of this piece on atheism come from completely distinct backgrounds. I (Bock) used to be the person who would refute the Christian trying to share with me. I spent much of my high school career doing that. I did not grow up in a Christian home. I came to faith in college, so I know what it is to live life as an agnostic. I also had sympathies with those who were atheists. In contrast, I (Del Rosario) grew up in a Christian home and always had some sense that God was present in our family. Still, I wondered, “What must it be like for people who think my faith is no different from superstition?”

Whether or not they come from a Christian background, many believers find imagining life as an atheist or agnostic difficult. So it is important for them to realize that evangelism efforts may challenge nonreligious people by asking them to consider a category where they have not spent much of their lives. That is, of course, if they did not grow up in a Christian home or have left that background. When confronted with the gospel, many ask themselves, “Do I really need this?” or “I know what that is like and have no interest.” How can believers better engage atheists and agnostics, whether or not they have previously been exposed to the faith?

We talked with Dallas Theological Seminary Professor of Theological Studies Glenn Kreider, Houston Baptist University Assistant Professor of Apologetics Mary Jo Sharp, and Biola University Assistant Professor of Apologetics Sean McDowell to discuss respectfully engaging with atheists. This briefing shares key points that emerged from our conversations. What do atheists believe? What draws people to atheism? How can Christians better engage atheists in spiritual conversations?

What Do Atheists Believe?

While a standard definition of atheism involves the conviction that God does not exist, many atheists do not make so bold a claim. Rather, some define atheism as the mere lack of belief in God. This is an autobiographical admission and makes no objective claim about reality. A continuum of belief is present in the atheist community. Bock and Kreider discuss this in an episode called “Engaging Atheists with the Gospel.”

Bock: Underneath the [atheist] label are a lot of variations. It isn’t “one-size-fits-all.”

Kreider: Right. [On one end of the continuum is] a militant, committed, evangelistic atheist who is trying to convince everybody to accept his or her strong conviction that there is no god, even to the extent of having great confidence about that. [But] many atheists are a little more agnostic because it takes a great deal of certainty to prove there isn’t a god. On the other end of the continuum are people who haven’t thought much about it and are living without any outward recognition of the God who created them.

Bock: Another group that might operate in similar ways is the group we might classify as agnostic. They are undecided and so they operate in most of their life as if there is no god.

Kreider: I put agnostics on that continuum, too, . . . believing there isn’t enough evidence [to justify belief in] a god, and operating as if there is no god.

Bock: Our culture has become more secularized in general [and] a lot of people [who] don’t have exposure to any kind of religious tradition at all—this is the bucket they land in.

Kreider: Yes, kind of by default. There was a time when . . . we would think of atheism much more in a technical sense than today. Today, it’s a pretty broad continuum of convictions.

Bock: This category is growing. . . . It used to be there was a Judeo-Christian net around our culture. It caught people who never got close to the church. There were things in the culture in general that had Judeo-Christian values that influenced what was going on. That net, for the most part in our culture, is gone. . . . So, to end up in a secularized kind of category by default now is a much easier thing to do than would have been the case fifty years ago. . . . Christianity is no longer privileged, is more and more marginalized, and is seen as scary to the culture.

In short, one can lack a belief in God without being an atheist. Agnostics fall into this category, either confessing ignorance or asserting that it cannot be known if theism is true. Both atheists and agnostics either outright reject a belief in the proposition that God exists or at least operate pragmatically as if God does not exist.

What Draws People To Atheism?

Atheism in this broad-spectrum sense has many draws. For some, a perceived moral independence seems inviting. That is, living with self-imposed restrictions rather than acknowledging objective moral values and duties. Others may have an emotional response that makes accepting theism difficult—especially in light of personal tragedies or the evil and suffering so common in the news today. Many feel profoundly hurt by Christians or a local church. That makes those who are atheists or agnostics after exposure to the church a special category, as they think they have seen the real thing and have walked away. They may seem particularly difficult to engage because they are burned over and burned out on the gospel. Still others may identify as agnostic because they feel uncomfortable suggesting a given religion or worldview is wrong. Ultimately, most atheists and agnostics have other concerns beyond intellectual questions about God’s existence. As Kreider notes,

There probably are as many draws as there are spots on this continuum. Everywhere from the person who has considered the claims of Christianity or other religions and finds them noncompelling and chooses to reject them all, to the person who has been deeply wounded by God’s failure to respond as he or she thought God should, to woundedness that comes from organized religion, to people who find the claims of naturalism more likely to describe the world as it exists. There’s a wide continuum of perspectives.

From the militant to the disinterested, atheists and agnostics represent an array of concerns. Those who are militant usually have some experience in their background that has taken them down a path to rescue others they see caught in a variation of their painful experience. That can be hard to overcome in engaging this group. In light of all of these variations, believers must be careful to reject stereotypes. Just as some Christians can be bitter, insensitive, or promote prejudice, some atheists can do the same. However, other atheists or, more often, agnostics can be more nuanced in their views of religion, can value pluralism, and can genuinely seek to contribute to a more tolerant society. How might believers begin to approach spiritual conversations with their skeptical friends, family, and co-workers who hold to some form of atheism or agnosticism?

Engaging Atheists In Spiritual Conversations

Here are three key points from our conversations on engaging with atheists and agnostics.

Ask Questions And Listen Well

Bock notes that some Christians who see an opportunity to share the gospel with an atheist or agnostic can move too quickly, saying, “ ‘I’m gonna stand up for God and make the case,’ and they tend to—almost like a bull in a china shop—just roll in and try to control the discussion.” Rather than approaching engagement and apologetics exclusively as a debate or a lecture, however, asking good questions and drawing people out generally results in a more open, less defensive conversation. The result is that individuals being challenged to consider God need not dig in and determine to take a stand for where they are. Consider what this more deliberate approach requires.

First, ask questions to discover where a person is coming from. Then listen and resist the urge to immediately critique or answer challenges to the faith. This prevents hasty generalizations and allows for deeper insight into the person’s needs.

Kreider: We ought to hear where that person is, understand the context in which we are having the conversation, instead of slapping on a response that’s generic, assuming that everybody in a particular position is exactly the same.

Bock: The impulse that we have to be evangelistic pushes us . . . into the role of assessment before we have had understanding.

But what you want to do first is get the lay of the land so that you know how to engage and develop some element of trust and communication. Then when the hardest parts of the conversation come, the difficult parts, the places where you disagree come, you’re actually able to negotiate that space a little more effectively.

Kreider: Yes. It’s respectful and courteous, and it’s a virtue to let the person speak for himself or herself and to learn from them. I’m always interested in why you believe what you believe.

Bock: Getting a reading on where the person is coming from and what drives them actually helps you understand how to move into those conversations. . . . You want to do two things. You want to get a spiritual GPS reading on where that person is coming from and how they put their life together. And . . . you want to shut off your heresy meter.

You know, you don’t go into the first parts of those conversations [saying], “Every time I hear something I don’t agree with theologically, I’m going to respond and give the retort.” No. You save it. . . . You need that portrait of understanding. Sometimes, it’s a particular experience with the church that was really painful and might have even been abusive that has triggered this. That is going to need some empathy in order to have people work past [something] that’s become like a phaser shield wall that they’ve put up that prevents you from getting to them.

Asking open, honest questions is the first step. For example, “What makes this hard to believe?” “What do you mean when you say that?” “Do you think it’s possible that God exists?” or “Help me understand how you see Christianity.” The second step is to listen—without being preoccupied by mentally preparing a response before hearing someone out. When individuals share their views on God, they give the listener a gift—a window into their soul. Christians must learn to listen and engage with courage and compassion. In an episode called “Truth, Love, and Defending the Faith,” Sean McDowell explains how he helps Christian students approach conversations with atheists in a relational way.

McDowell: We have to teach [more than] content. Apologetics has to involve things like “How do we listen? How do I understand somebody’s worldview? How do I recognize faulty thinking and in a loving, gracious way, help that person arrive at truth?” We want to set the framework so that this is not a lecture. This is not a one-way street. This is listening, showing respect, and having dialogue and earning the right for somebody to really take our ideas seriously.

I got tired of seeing my [high school] students [at Capistrano Valley Christian] graduate, go to a university, and just have their faith picked apart by a professor, either aggressively or just incidentally. . . . [Now] we take students into [UC] Berkeley and we invite in atheists, we invite in agnostics. We brought a fellow whose dad’s a pastor. He’s an atheist now. He’s a gay man, and we just had him share his story. But we teach these students [and ask,] “How do you listen? How do you show love and respect to somebody who . . . just thinks we’re crazy, and we’re nuts and absurd for what we believe? How do we actually have these loving conversations?”

Bock: For most people [who have] never darkened the door of a church, all their understanding of religion is what they’ve absorbed [from the culture] like a sponge. . . . Imagine if your view of Christianity were based on what you hear in the general public. What view would you have? What would you think? That’s what you can expect a lot of times.

The second level . . . is when they go to the university campus and they take a religion class. They’re on the exact opposite end of that spectrum. They’re not dealing with someone who’s just taking it in as a sponge. They’re dealing in many cases with someone who has reacted to a religious experience in the past of their life and they’ve made it their mission . . . to undercut the Christian faith in what they do and what they teach, or to reconfigure it in a way in which it’s less confrontive with the other religious movements in the world. They’ve developed a knowledge pool that runs pretty deep.

Del Rosario: How do you help Christian students at Princeton and Yale set the tone to engage skeptics?

Bock: I emphasize the values that Sean’s talking about. This is a conversation. The goal is not to win a debate, because actually the goal is to win a person. You’re actually trying to invite someone out of public space and into sacred space in the midst of trying to challenge them at the same time. . . .

It’s a challenge that says, “The reason you need to step into sacred space is because life is messed up—and that includes your life and my life.” That’s not an easy message people want to hear, particularly in an age where they feel entitled to the things of God as opposed to something that God has to grace us with because he shows us his mercy.

McDowell: We have to realize there’s an experience behind somebody. Sometimes it’s pain or seeing hypocrisy. If we try to win an argument at the expense of really understanding where somebody’s journey is, we’re often going to win the battle but lose the war.

Del Rosario: Yeah, we need to have grace and truth at the same time.

Bock shares a helpful metaphor for the spiritual battle: “Believers are like Special Forces soldiers whose assignment is to rescue another from the clutches of someone seeking to do them harm, someone they may not even be aware of, in part because they do not even know that enemy exists.”

Beyond relating well, we must train believers to make the case for Christianity in an unrushed, winsome, gracious way. Rather than preparing for a debate, believers should approach engagement as ongoing conversations on God, Jesus, morality, the Bible, or a variety of topics that might draw an atheist or agnostic into open dialogue. In all of this, the conversation must be personalized beyond the intellectual.

Empathize And Personalize The Conversation

Believers who are better equipped in understanding their faith tend to be less defensive or intimidated by challenges and able to approach conversations more in relational terms rather than prematurely responding to challenges. In an episode called “How to Engage in Spiritual Conversations,” Mary Jo Sharp spoke about approaching spiritual conversations with a servant’s heart and a sensitivity to ministry:

Sharp: I call this “conversational apologetics.” The first thing I want to demonstrate to a person is that I care about them. So what we’re about to discuss is all wrapped up in “Do I really want to serve this person?” I’ve had atheists tell me they felt like [Christians] wanted to throw their [talking] points at them, and then if they weren’t ready to accept those points, then they just walk away, and that makes them feel like a project rather than a person. I want to avoid that situation.

Bock: Well, we’re engaged in challenging people about where they’re living. The gospel . . . challenges all of us, and challenge is uncomfortable. People don’t like to be challenged. But we also have to offer an invitation. I can’t have a chance of them hearing the challenge unless they know I care.

After asking questions, listening, and empathizing, Christians can share personal stories to explain aspects of the faith and move beyond the theological or philosophical. Rather than gearing up to win an argument, believers should ask questions, listen, and genuinely care about the other person’s experience and perspective. People tend to be more open to the idea that God loves them when they experience believers who take seriously the second greatest commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31).

Build Bridges To The Gospel

The apostle Paul’s message at the Areopagus is often cited as an example for presenting Christianity. Paul, however, began with an observation about his audience: “Men of Athens, I see that you are very religious in all respects” (Acts 17:22). How can this strategy inform the church’s engagement with nonreligious people?

Bock: The term “religion” [here involves] a double-entendre. It has a superstitious element in it. But Paul is reaching out to them because he goes to the example of the idol to the unknown god. He says, “Here is an orientation that you have, and here’s a gap in your thinking that I want to dive into.” And he’s trying to give them pause and thinking through where they are coming from.

Kreider: Acts 17 is Paul’s exposition of Romans 1. He starts where these religious people are, and then he tells them the story of Scripture, that God is the creator of heaven and earth, he is in charge of everything that happens in this world, . . . he has appointed a time of judgment and sent his Son. It’s the story we should be telling over and over again [while finding ways] to integrate people into that story, to show how their stories fit into that story.

What’s most fascinating to me is that Paul does that without quoting the Scriptures. Not that quoting Scripture is unhelpful, but he is using biblical language without citing [the Scriptures directly].

Bock: Yes, he is painting a biblical canvas without telling you in parenthesis where it’s coming from.

Kreider: He [also] quotes a pagan poet. He’s quoting the people that they are listening to—a very effective way to communicate the truth of the gospel [and] help them see that the voices of the culture are calling out to the God who created us.

Bock: There are places in the cultural language where you see people reaching for that which reflects the fact that they are made in the image of God, . . . [but] the ancient world [had] a belief in transcendent spirits that permeated the culture. . . . So everyone had a sense that they were a creature. Now that is something that we can’t assume today.

Kreider: That’s right.

Bock: So we have a different starting point. You could dive into the creator/creature relationship through the lens of the Bible. Acts 17 is saying, “How do you talk to someone who doesn’t know Genesis from Malachi, who has no idea what that story is at all, doesn’t know any of it?”

Kreider: You tell them the story.

Bock: You tell them the basics of the story, which is, “You’re a creature, there is a creator. There is only one creator, and you are accountable to him.”

Kreider: Because of the image of God, there is a nagging sense in every human being that we are not the center of the universe. . . . It does take effort to help people recognize some sense of a transcendence, some sense of wonder and mystery. And the challenge is to get from that to God, [but] the Spirit is the one who leads a person to understanding, who makes it possible for the content of the gospel and the work of Christ to make an impact in a person’s life. We are vehicles of that story, we are tellers of that story, but we depend upon, we rely upon the Spirit to do that work.

It’s a function of life in this culture that we are becoming more aware of our dependence upon the Spirit’s work in our evangelism and apologetics.

Bock: Yes, I agree with you, and I don’t think I can reinforce this enough. . . . Our responsibility is to be faithful in telling the story. We are not responsible for the results, [and] it requires an element of patience about the whole enterprise at a relational level that I think we have to be prepared for.

Conclusion

In the end, our goal is not to win arguments but to win people, with 2 Timothy 2:24–26 informing the ethos of our engagement: “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, an apt teacher, forbearing, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.” So truth matters, and tone matters too. When it comes to engaging with atheists and agnostics, let us be good listeners, empathizing, building bridges, and faithfully sharing the gospel through the power of the Holy Spirit.