Have you ever wondered why certain people are mentioned in Scripture? Why would the Old Testament mention a person just once or twice? For example, consider Jethro. He is a minor character in the Old Testament, not even an Israelite. He has very limited interaction with the Israelites. It is likely that there were many other important Israelites who dedicated their whole life to God who are not even mentioned. Why then is Jethro included in the record of Scripture?
One of the reasons is so we can understand how God protects, preserves, and helps His church through the gifts and interactions of people. Another reason Jethro is in the Bible is to encourage us to think about our personal relationships and how we relate to others. Often this is called mentoring—the intentional relationships in which one person interacts with and helps another person by investing his or her God-given wisdom and resources.
Mentoring is a popular idea in today’s business and educational world. But as Exodus 18 shows us, the primary use of mentoring ought not to be for better job possibilities, better sales results, higher confidence, or even for leadership development. Rather, mentoring should be for the kingdom’s sake. This will be considered by studying three aspects from Exodus 18: the people involved, the reasons God uses it, and the biblical model provided.
The People: Who Is Involved In Mentoring?
In order to properly understand mentoring, we need to step back and look at the big picture. In Exodus 18, there are two main people—two very different people. While our focus is on Jethro, it is helpful to compare him with Moses. Who are these men?
Both men are human. That may seem obvious, but think about it for a moment. Moses is human. He was born a baby, had siblings, and grew up. At this point, he is an older man. God has appointed him with a great task, but Moses is not divine. He is human. The same is true for Jethro. He has a family. He has a great task, but he is human.
To be human means to be created in the image of God. The words from Genesis 1:26 are well known: “Let us make man in our image.” We often focus on what is meant by the image of God, and it is good to understand that. But realize what God said: “Let us make man in our image.” This is a triune activity. The image that man is made in is the image of the triune God. This Trinity highlights the relationship between the Father, Son, and Spirit. So while being created in the image of God is about knowledge, righteousness, and holiness, it is also about having right relationships and interacting in a right way.
Relating properly is part of God’s good original creation. Therefore, in a sense, mentorship has happened through all time. Consider the Garden of Eden. Adam was not just placed in the garden; he experienced relationship as he was given instructions by God and as he was given a helper in Eve. This was all perfect, declared to be good. But after the fall, Adam and Eve lost the perfect image of God. Instead of perfect relationships and interaction, they, and we with them, have sinful and weak relationships. That is why relationships take work today. They take intentionality and effort. They take grace and patience.
By the very way they are created, humans need relationships. Because of sin’s impact, we need to work on positive and constructive relationships.
How are you doing with being human? Do you admit you need other people in your life? Do you see how sin impacts your relationships, especially with those who are not the same age or generation as you? Are you working at relating to other people?
Maybe you think mentoring is for young people. But notice how both Moses and Jethro are mature men, and yet they need others. They both are adults who have settled in their careers. They are not children who need to be shown the way; they are grown men already doing valuable work, and they still need others.
Moses needs others. When Jethro originally met Moses, it was after Moses had fled Egypt and had met Jethro’s seven daughters at a well in Midian (Ex. 2:16). Exodus 2 shows us how Jethro cared about the needs of Moses as a person. Moses needed work; Jethro gave Moses a job tending sheep. Moses needed family; Jethro gave Moses his daughter, Zipporah, as a wife. After the burning bush, when Moses asked for permission to go back to Egypt, Jethro gave his blessing. And now Moses is busy leading the people of Israel, acting as the representative of God, and answering people’s questions from morning until evening. He is doing important work, and yet Moses needs practical help. He is eighty years old and still needs others for wisdom. And God gives Jethro to Moses.
Jethro also needs others. Jethro is a priest of Midian. The Midianites were the same people who brought Joseph into slavery. God will later tell Moses to vex the Midianites and slay them (Num. 25:17). Later, during the days of Gideon, the Midianites will raid Israel. The Midianites are enemies, and Jethro is the servant of their pagan god. This is still the case when Jethro approaches the Israelite camp in Exodus 18, because in verse 11 he admits his unbelief. Up to that point, he was not certain about the God of Israel. In spite of his religious background, Jethro needs spiritual help. And God gives Moses to Jethro to teach him about His wonders, His truth, His power, and His deliverance.
So, in the early part of Exodus 18, Moses describes God’s salvation of the Israelites to Jethro (v. 8), and in a sense Moses is mentoring Jethro. He is teaching his father-in-law about who God is and what He has done.
This also helps put things in the big picture. The greatest need both men have is for the ultimate mentor—Jesus Christ. Moses knows this from experience; he shares it with Jethro, and God blesses it. But notice how Lord-centered Moses’ teaching is, and also how Lord-centered Jethro’s confession is: “And Moses told his father-in-law all that the Lord had done unto Pharaoh and to the Egyptians for Israel’s sake, and all the travail that had come upon them by the way, and how the LORD delivered them. And Jethro rejoiced [not in Moses the leader and not in Moses his son-in-law] for all the goodness which the LORD had done to Israel…. And Jethro said, Blessed be the LORD…” (18:8-10). Today, too, the greatest need we all have is Christ. He needs to be number one in your life. You need to submit to Him and worship Him before you can encourage others to do so. You need to know Him as you greatest confidante, your greatest friend. Only then can you properly mentor others.
But maybe you are thinking that mentors are for people with no good relationships in their lives. You are a Christian and have a relationship with Christ, and you have a great marriage and have a friend and confidante in your spouse, so you think you do not need a mentor. But in Exodus 18, Jethro and Moses are both married and yet they need the input of others. That does not mean they have bad marriages. It just means that they need the perspective that others can bring: people who have lived in a similar position, have struggled with a similar issue, and have certain wisdom and life experiences. Spouses or significant friends can still be our best earthly friends, but that does not mean we should not learn from others.
Notice one more thing about these two biblical people. They are of different ages. Jethro is Moses’ father-in-law, which means there may have been a whole generation between them. Yet they treated each other with respect and counted each other worthy of attention and honor. This challenges us to reevaluate whom we listen to and depend on for wisdom and friendship. God does not just want us to listen to those within five years of our age. God uses older men and women to teach younger, and He also expects that no seasoned veteran would despise the youth.
But they are also of different ages spiritually. It is as if Jethro was converted one day, and then God uses him to teach Moses the very next day. He used to serve pagan gods, and still God sends him into Moses’ life. Jethro is not going to be the new leader of Israel, but he is going to be used by God in a powerful way. Whether you are a seasoned believer, or a new convert, God wants work from you. But particularly, He wants interaction between you. Why?
The Reasons: Why Does God Use Mentoring?
Why did God bring Jethro to Moses? Why do we need to have and develop mentoring relationships? The first reason is because God uses mentoring relationships to preserve His church. Israel had just come from Egypt. The Israelites had just escaped the slavery of Pharaoh, celebrated the Passover, and were coming to receive the law and the tabernacle. They were going to be wandering in the wilderness before entering the Promised Land. God sends Jethro to Moses so that Moses is able to reprioritize and lead the covenant people for forty years in the desert.
Ultimately, the book of Exodus is not about Moses or even about the Israelites; Exodus is about God delivering Israel. Even Exodus 18 is not about Jethro and Moses. It is about God preserving His church through the means of wise interaction. This continues throughout the Old Testament. Think of how Moses will later mentor Joshua, and how God will use that relationship to bring His people into their inheritance. And that is true for us today, too. God still preserves His church and His truth, and still uses people and relationships to do so.
But Exodus is also the story of the Christian life, and there is a parallel between Israel’s experience in Exodus and a Christian’s spiritual journey. If you are a believer, God brought you out of bondage to sin through salvation in Christ through the deep waters of death. By grace, you have been saved by faith in the greater exodus—the death and resurrection of Jesus. But that is only the beginning of the spiritual journey. Now you are wandering through the wilderness of earthly life, learning many of the same lessons. You learn to sing praise to God for delivering His church. You learn to trust God for your daily provisions and health. You learn to live a life of prayer against the spiritual enemies of the church. And often your greatest lessons are from other people God places in your life and in the community of the church. And interaction with them leads to spiritual lessons, spiritual growth, spiritual disciplines, spiritual perseverance, and spiritual teaching of others.
The second reason God uses mentoring relationships is to bring glory to His name. God has always used people—not because they are worthy or deserve it, but to bring glory to Himself. Earlier in Exodus, God said to Pharaoh that He was delivering the people out of Egypt so His name would be proclaimed throughout all the earth (Ex. 9:16). This is realized in Exodus 18 in numerous ways. Because of Moses mentoring Jethro, a Gentile is brought to faith, and Jethro actually breaks out into praise of the covenant Lord (v. 10).
Because of Jethro mentoring Moses, the kingdom is more efficient and God’s laws are more blessed. Though Jethro was a man of character and wisdom and though he was kind and religious, this mentoring or management plan was not so that the people would be more like him or even Moses. This was so the people would know the statutes of God and His laws.
Today, we might say that the biblical idea of mentoring is all about helping people live to the glory of God. Don Carson writes, “When we live up to our calling [here], we remember that in God’s church people do not set the agenda, they are the agenda. It is in this sense that Christians must be constantly asking what is best for the people of God.” [1]
This is the fulfillment of the Great Commission in our backyards. Often when we read Matthew 28, we hear, “Go ye and teach [or make disciples of] all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…” and we send out missionaries. But the verse continues: “…teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you.” This teaching is ongoing, shaping and molding for sanctification. This part of the Great Commission does not need to start new churches; it needs to help existing ones come to sanctification. This can happen in our backyards and in our church pews.
The third reason God uses biblical mentoring relationships is because He wants His people to witness to those around them as they serve each other. Service is a qualification to look for when choosing mentors. Notice that Jethro was a man who learned to worship the true God, to offer sacrifices for what he had learned, and to share with other leaders (v. 12). Only after that does he mentor Moses. Later, Jethro says the rulers whom Moses should appoint must have ability, they must fear God, they must be men of truth, and they must hate covetousness. They should be willing to judge the small matters and let Moses judge the greater matters. They are to be willing to serve, to bear the burden along with Moses (v. 22).
When Christ came, this service became more explicit. He is the great example of witness and sacrifice in serving others. He took three years to prepare the disciples for service after His ascension by investing time and energy in them, praying with them, and serving them. But He also commanded that this continue. “If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them” (John 13:14-17).
Later, Paul encouraged such service of loving the brethren. He mentored others in his writing and modeled it with Timothy. To the Corinthians, he says, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). To the Philippians, he says, “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you” (Phil. 4:9). This is further encouraged and expanded in the New Testament as “one-another” ministry: love one another, admonish one another, encourage one another, etc.
Practically though, it raises a series of questions about you and me: Are we willing to receive the acts of service and mentoring of others? Or does the pride in our life say that we do not need other people? Does your heart say no one will care about you? Do you think that Scripture tells you to keep your emotions and mental strength under your own control, or do you recognize that it expects you to be vulnerable?
But it also raises questions about whether we are willing to pass this along. Are we willing to serve others? Mentor others? Are we willing to spend an hour a week with someone not in our family? Do we recognize the spiritual gifts and resources God has given us so that we can share them with others?
We do not need to be the greatest in an area in order to share with others. There is always someone who has less knowledge and experience. If you are a sincere believer, there is always someone who can benefit from your example and interaction with them. How would you do this?
The Model: How Is Biblical Mentoring Done?
Mentoring may seem intimidating. But it is not. Think of it as a pin that secures a tractor and a trailer: it is a simple tool, easily adaptable, and yet allows the tractor to pull something much greater than itself. Mentoring is also quite simple. The Bible does not only say to mentor, but it also provides a model of how to be a mentor in Jethro. This can be seen in seven ways.
Mentors Have An Ongoing Relationship
This comes through in three aspects of Jethro’s relationship with Moses. First, Jethro cares about Moses as a person. In chapter 18, they meet again because Jethro heard what God had done for Moses (v. 1). He was paying attention. Secondly, Jethro understood Moses’ family needs. While Moses had sent Zipporah and his sons to Jethro for a visit, Jethro took care of his wife and two sons. But now he cares so much about Moses’ family that he brings Zipporah, Gershom, and Eliezer back to Moses. Jethro is not concerned about his own family first. Undoubtedly it would be nice to keep his daughter and grandsons around him, but he is concerned that Moses has a healthy and complete family. So Jethro strives to keep them united. Thirdly, when they meet in chapter 18, they pick up where they left off. Jethro and Moses come together and ask after the other’s welfare (v. 7).
Thus mentoring cannot happen with someone who comes into your life only for a short time. It should be with someone you can go to even after distance or time may separate you. The benefit of long-term, intentional relationships is that you learn to trust and be vulnerable.
Mentors Are Involved With The Lives Of Their Mentees
This can be seen in two ways in Exodus 18. First, Jethro and Moses are involved on a personal level. They went through the expected formalities and hospitality rituals, but they also made time to have deep and meaningful conversation together when they went in the tent.
Second, they interact in the community. They worship together by making sacrifice. In verse 12, we read that “Jethro, Moses’ father in law, took a burnt offering and sacrifices for God: and Aaron came, and all the elders of Israel, to eat bread with Moses’ father in law before God.” Not only does he worship Moses’ God, but he does so properly. He even eats with Moses’ brother and the other elders of Israel. They share a meal. And the next day, Jethro goes with Moses to work: He “saw all that he did to the people” (vv. 13-14).
It is important to recognize that mentoring is not full-time involvement in someone else’s life; it is not involvement in every area of their life; but it is active involvement. You can be mentored over distances and even by dead people’s memories and books, but we also need people who know us and can see the way we live. We need active, present mentors.
Mentors Ask Questions
When Jethro goes with Moses to work that day, he sees how Moses is spending all day doing the same thing, trying to do it alone, and making others wait. He asks a simple question: “What is this thing you are doing? What are you doing?” In other words, Jethro is confirming his perception by asking a question. But notice that Jethro also asks a pointed ‘why’ question: “Why do you do this alone?” (v. 14).
Mentors ask the questions that matter. The real questions are not about the weather and probably not about how the kids are doing; they are questions that dig at the reasons and motivations living behind decisions and lifestyles. They may even be hard questions that you would not find acceptable if a stranger asked them. But they are great questions because they are open-ended and move beyond the facts to stimulate reflection and discussion.
Mentors Listen
Jethro does not immediately answer his own question with his own perception. Rather, Moses is allowed to respond, and he says to his father-in-law, “Because the people come unto me to enquire of God: when they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws” (vv. 15-16). This is a valid case, and seemingly reasonable. And Jethro realizes that. This is a good work. It is even being done with care. So Jethro listens as Moses explains himself.
In order for mentors to help, they have to understand why others are doing what they are doing—and that can only come through listening. Listening sometimes requires us to stop diagnosing and problem-solving as the person is talking, and really quiet ourselves and listen. The time for feedback will come later.
Mentors Provide Clarity And Perspective
Jethro does not just nod his head and approve. No, even as Jethro listens to Moses describe his good work, he has to point out that what Moses is doing is not good (vv. 17-18).
This is honest perspective. Notice that mentors may have to address the negative. But when the truth is spoken in love and after listening, it is more likely to be heard. Mentors are necessary to provide perspective and context that you and I cannot see. They help us think about our whole person. They help us think long-term.
Mentors Present Action Plans
Jethro does not analyze to only identify the problem. He is also helpful in identifying a solution (vv. 19-20). Mentors give advice—both spiritual advice and practical advice.
This action plan also helps Moses prioritize (vv. 21-22). Part of mentoring is often about helping people see where they need to be leaders and where they need to delegate. But what does that look like in daily life? Whether you are a grandfather, a mother, or a student, two basic principles apply: focus only on the things your position demands, not everything that you are inclined to do; and allow others to bear your burdens with you. [2]
Mentors Know The Limits Of Their Role
Mentors’ advice is limited advice. Even Jethro realizes that God is still above him, and that Moses has an ultimate authority in God. His position is limited. Jethro does not try to take Moses out of the place where God had put him, even though it was a high leadership position. Rather, he upholds Moses’ role as the one through whom Israel would know the laws and statutes of God.
There is also a time limit on human mentoring. This is seen in how Jethro knows when to leave (v. 27). He does not give direction and then micromanage Moses; he wants to leave again—but only after pointing Moses back to dependence on God’s blessing: “If thou shalt do this thing, and God command [direct] thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace” (v. 23).
Mentors are people that come alongside and do not try to replace or overtake. They know the proper time to move on, leaving it to God through the Holy Spirit to bless the seeds that have been planted.
Conclusion
Mentoring does not need to be difficult or terribly demanding. It is opening your life to others, sharing with others, and living for someone beyond your family. It will require energy and intentionality. Some instances may require more passive and occasional mentoring; others, more intensive and continual. But mentoring is necessary and it is biblical.
So who is your Jethro? Who is your Moses? The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks the question, “What is man’s chief end/purpose?” “To glorify God, and enjoy Him forever.” As fallen sinners in need of regeneration and sanctification, we cannot live isolated from outside influences. Created in the image of God, we need relationships with godly men and women—not for our benefit or their glory, but for God’s glory. Not so we would enjoy this life more or simply enjoy each other’s company, but so we, together, could enjoy Him and His kingdom forever.
Notes
- D. A. Carson, A Call to Spiritual Reformation (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1992), 65-66.
- Philip Ryken, Exodus (Wheaton: Crossway, 2005), 482-83.
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